SoI haven't been on in awhile, but I have been busy with friends and school and all that kind of good stuff. But I am back by popular demand so lay any questions on me.

School

So school has started...I am a junior!The year has not been bad so far, I think I could have done with a little more vaca though. Well, Thanksgiving is not too far away, which means my birthday is really soon. My Blood Sugar has been really whacked lately...I think it is the stress of going back to school because this year is soooo important is causing some of the problems. Hopefully I will get over it soon and I will get my glucose levels back on tract.

I got roasted on islet.org because I don't think transplanting pig islet cells into humans is a good idea. I think it is Darwinism like one woman responded to me....What if something goes wrong and people reject it and make a big fuss? I am all for a cure, but I don't like that idea. People can say all they want to me online, but I wasn't starting a group to protest it or anything, I just said if the plan comes through and they start transplanting, don't look for me in line to get any. If it's great and it works and the diabetic community loves it, then I'll feel like an ass. But until then, I'm holding my own.

Last Day

Today was the last day in the hospital program I was going to this summer...now I have about a week until school starts up. I need clothes and books and all that good crap, and I'm not feeling good today...my last sugar was 57, but I don't know why I ran so low...I hate stress, that's what I think causes most of it. But I am going to start a countdown to pump classes...


5 DAYS UNTIL PUMP CLASSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

French Newspaper

I went to Borders Books today with a group of kids from the hospital program I'm in, and found Le Monde, the french newspaper. Ah-mazing!!! I sat in the cafe with my imported paper and had a javanilla shake, which is smoothie heaven!!! All the kids were like, 'you can read French? That's amazing! How old are you? Have you ever been to France??? It was really funny, because I don't think speaking multiple languages is too hard. I mean if you speak like 20, that's cool, but 2 is normal...Is that pompous?

Tears From Heaven

Have you ever thought about the rain as tears from the angels? I think every funeral I have ever gone to, later that day it has rained. I don't know why I have these odd thoughts, but I do, and I wish I had answers for all of them. I wish i couuld meet an angel someday. Just for a few minutes, just so I would I would know what it was like. I know people say you have to have a near death experience to see one, but how do you know that they tell the truth? Maybe you have to be some kind of wonder to see one, and maybe I'm not veiwed as good enough to see one or even sense one, but I wish I were. I've been spending a lot of time on here because my computer won't let me into the diabetes teen talk website, where I spend most of my time, but that's the straw I always seem to draw. Lucky me.

I have been thinking even more about school starting up soon, i think I'm warming up to the idea of being back now, I've had all summer to me for the most part, except when I was in the hospital, and things seem to be looking up for me... junior year is really important. I have to do my grad project this year, and I'm stilling searching for ideas I want to do it on. I think I want to look at something like Discrimination or even how Bibles are illegal in China, and how they have to meet in secret. That would be an amazing idea. I hope I would be allowed to do it though, because I go to a public high school. I think I know what teachers I will be getting for the most part, at least English, Math and Science and French, I still really want to get my schedule, they won't get mailed out until the end of the week, and i'm towards the end of the alphabet...grrr. They sent out a tentative schedule in July, but I didn't like the way it looked, so i hope they changed things around a bit, I will be ticked off if they aren't. I hope that I get the same History teacher that I had last year because he was relly nice. He was a first year teacher too, so he had some really funny classes. We got to watch Forrest Gump, which is prob my favorite movie, except when Bubba dies. I cried like all through the school day everytime another kid would mention that movie. It was pretty funny actually! Everyone thought I was too emotional, but hey, a good movie only comes around every few years. Well, It's late, I'm tired, and I have a 400 page book to read... so I'll be back tomorrow, hopefully!

Today was my friend Lisa's 16th birthday, but I couldn't go to her party. Sometimes I don't think she fully understands me. Its hard being a teenage girl and living up to what the 'average' girl is supposed to be. I don't think I really fit into any mold, and I 'm not really willing to compromise myself to force myself into being somebody that I'm not.

I finished reading Brighton Beach Memoirs today, and I started Bury my Heart at Wounded Knee. I'm really glad I made it into Honors English this year!!! I have to go school shopping soon...I hate the idea of going back to school, but I love going shopping for it. Go Figure. I tried auditioning at The Lehigh Valley Charter HIgh School for The Performing Arts, but the singing and Drama departments were full, so I have to go back to Southern Lehigh...which I DON'T want to do. Its my junior year though, so I'm almost done. I really can't wait to get off to college in the future. I don't know if I want to stay close to home or not, I guess it depends on what I accomplish at school in the next two years and if any good oppertunities come up. I guess we'll wait and see about that though...

Hmmm... there's not much else I can think of right now, but I know as soon as I disconnect, I'll have an idea or something! I am just reallyl bored right now. I wish I knew how to start my own website so I won't live out my life typing on other peoples. Even though I don't mind... I just wish I could be in control of my own little piece of the online community. Oh well, life will go on. Heheh.

Diabetic Pixie

So I'm up and have to take a shower to get on with the day, but I feel really lazy today. I don't know why though, I'm usually pretty active in the morning. I usually crash before 11pm so this is very odd. I think I have been having second thoughts about everything lately. I just don't seem to want to do anything anymore, and that's really not me.

I took my rabbit outside yesterday. He has this bright blue leash, and he loves to go running outside. When I got him at the petshop, they told me he was a girl, so I named him Chicory, but I found out a few days ago, my baby girl was really a boy... I still like the name Chicory, and I still love the rabbit of course, it was just weird. So anyways, I'm going to take him outside again tonight because he really loves it, and he behaves himself better outside than indoors...and there's no electrical wires! Everyone laughs because they've never seen a rabbit on a leash before, but that's me...

I am really bored...I had an endocronolgist appointment on Monday, and I start classes for getting an insulin pump soon. My doctor wants me to go on a continuous glucose monitor for a few days, but I don't know when that will start. I'm typing this Tuesday night, but I can't get on my internet right now so I will cut and copy it tommorow. School starts on the 5th of September, but I'm not sure I really want to go back right now. I mean I am excited to start my junior year and start looking at colleges and long term careers, but school drives me crazy sometimes! I dunno, I don't like dealing with alot of kids, and school has way to many people that make me uncomfortable. You know how sometimes you feel odd around others, like there something about you, or about them that just doesn't seem to fit in.i admit that I can be sort of a loner, but in alot of ways I like being like that. I'm not the kind of person who dresses odd, or listens to weird music and puts down the whole world or anything, I just like to have my own unique personality, and I would like to keep it my own. So anyway, I really would like to go on an insulin pump soon, so then I won't have to take shots at school and there will be a lot less people who see me take a shot, and a lot less people to make fun of me, and call me hurtful names like 'needle freak'. I find it amazing that some kids have the mindset to not care if some kids sticks a needle in himself to get a high, but if I inject insulin, I get labelled as a freak. It's not fair.

My Question

I filled out my profile and got to the random question. If I slayed a dragon in real life, I would probrably wet myself if I actually suceeded in killing it and not vice versa, then I would be stuck with the problem of how to roast my marshmellows. What they don't stop to think about is that if I had to slay the dragon, it was obviously a danger to society, and you wouldn't want to roast marshmellows near it anyway. If it didn't eat you, it would probably be like the campfire bully and eat your gooey treasure in front of you. So if I was faced with a slain dragon and untoasted marshmellows, I would just build a fire, and get it over with. Is that too much thought to put into a stupid question like that?

First Post

The first post in a long line of blogs, most of which that have been unsuccessful...hopefully I will have more luck with this one and keep it longer than a few months. Personally, I think blogging is a great way to get out all your feelings. As you can see from my blog name, I am diabetic, and obviously female. I have a lot of friends whoo are diabetic and who support me, but I still blog because I feel only the people with this disease know how it really feels to be stuck in a body that dosen't "work right" and I think everyone should know that I'm not different from anyone else because I take insulin shots or have to test my blood a lot. Welcome to Diabetic Pixie's world...mine, and hopefully, you'll get a good insight on it.